


theres a riot in my head

by davidelizabeth



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bathing/Washing, Byleth loves her deer, Feral Byleth, Found Family, Multi, Nonbinary My Unit | Byleth, Post-Time Skip, Spoilers for Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), The Golden Deer as Family, Wanted to write feral byleth and claude stole the show
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 21:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20842502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/davidelizabeth/pseuds/davidelizabeth
Summary: It is no ordinary day, the day that the river stirs. The animals flee as something on the bottom of the lake stirs, awakening for the first time in a very long time. They were a caged beast, finally set free from the cage that became of their mind.ORFeral Byleth takes on the world for the sake of their own, and comes to the shocking conclusion that they are loved as much as they love





	theres a riot in my head

It is no ordinary day, the day that the river stirs. The animals flee as something on the bottom of the lake stirs, awakening for the first time in a very long time. They were a caged beast, finally set free from the cage that became of their mind. They drift down the river, animals fleeing in their wake, as they drift, not fully aware that they are now free. It is not until someone grabs them, what once was Byleth, and begins dragging them from the cold, dark water they have existed in for so long. They open their eyes, slit-ed like those of a predator, as the person who pulls them from the lake speaks, “Man, I really thought the bodies had stopped coming. Must’ve been caught up in the bandits recently.”

“We are not dead. Only asleep. Where is this.” They say, their words clipping over each other as two voices try to speak as one.

The man jumps back, dropping their body as he puts distance between them. He looks extremely frightened, but responds none the less, “This is a small village just down the hill from the monastery, but no one goes there anymore since the battle. Are you sure you aren’t hurt, we can get you to a healer right away?”

The thought of a healer rattled them, the voices calling for the head of anyone that would dare touch them that are not family. They croon internally at the thought of family, getting to hold, and protect, and defend what was theirs once again. What Once Was Byleth quickly snaps for the year from the young man, and as soon as she is given an answer she growls. The growl comes from deep in her chest, and overlaps with dozens of other voices, all of them theirs, but also not theirs. They stand, their legs hold them up with the strength of every child of Sothis that came before her, and every child that was never given the chance to live.

They march to the sound of what they choose to believe is their heartbeat, their drive for revenge and their kin that they were forced to leave and abandon to the harshness of the world. They flex their hands, noting that there is a remarkable different. No longer were there slender, tidy fingers. Instead where talons, a weapon that could never be taken from them. They were sharp, like the talons of the wyverns they used to tend to, back when they were but two souls inhabiting one body. Instead of the mad weapon they were now.

The desire for revenge curled through their body, from the back of their head to the depths of their cut. Oh, how they wished to gut that Edelgard with nothing but the talons that now adorned their hands, to rip out her throat with just her teeth alone, like the prey they deserved to die as for even thinking she could get away with hurting her little deer.

Another growl rose in their throat, both halves of them angered by the thought of losing even one of their little deer to anything but the hands of time. If any of them had been snatched by the enemy and forced to fight she would kill the fates themselves to set this right.

They were no longer Byleth and Sothis, during their imprisonment, anger and their torment had driven them mad with rage, to the point where one could not be told from the other so easily. Who desired to rip Edelgard’s throat out? Who desired to see their little deer? Neither of them knew, but that could be left until they got their revenge and got to see their little deer again.

Oh, they wished to hold their deer in their arms, to gaze upon what they had become during their years trapped and caged. The monastery is in their gazes, and they are hungry to step foot in it again, hungry to follow the footsteps they used to take throughout their days as a teacher.

Their thoughts stagnated as they caught the scents of those who did not belong. Intruder! Their mind screamed at them. So, they began to act, tracking the scents of those who would dare do this place harm while it was under their protection. These scents were fresh, they had never walked these halls before, and had sour intentions for the contents of this place. In return, they would have sour intents to those who would DARE.

It did not take long to find them, nor did it take long to cut them down with nothing but sheer force and their new talons. They worked just as well if not better than the brawling attachments they used to practise with so they could protect those who were theirs, before the great fall.

In their distraction, they failed to notice the faint scent of one that they called their own. The scent of blood and entrails too strong for anything else to bleed through, as the glee of eliminating their prey worked through the body they called their own.

It wasn’t until the person the scent belonged to entered the courtyard, weapon drawn, ready for a fight that they had heard occurring only moments prior. Together as one, they whipped around, ready to continue their fight for the place they considered home, even in its abandoned state. It wasn’t until the wind brought the others scent to their nose did they relax.

The person froze, for only a second, before calling out across the yard in barely contained excitement, “Teach? Is that really you? You sure did oversleep this one.”

It only took a second, but then they were barrelling over to the little deer that had returned to them. Claude only had a split second to drop their bow, before he was barrelled over by the person he had always known would return.

Cooing, they took the time to look over the first, and most beloved of their deer. They would give their life for any of those they called their own, but this one, this one was special in a way that not even the heavens could describe. Together, as they always were now, they would destroy and remake the world if given the word from him, no matter the cost.

“You have grown little deer, too much. I will raze the heavens themselves for having taken this time from me.” They growled, in agreement that the time taken from them was too much, and that they would strike down anyone who dared tried to take more.

He had no clue what half of those things meant, and told them as such, “I absolutely have no clue what that means, but if it’s coming from you, I trust it.” Grasping their shoulders, he gently started to move them into an upright position, not daring to move them off of his lap, where they had made themselves right at home.

Taking the moment to gaze at the battlefield they had just abandoned in their desire to reunite with him, he was in awe at the amount of blood and gore that decorated the place. They had been nothing less than brutal, it reminded him of the aftermath of Raphael on the battle field with his gauntlets, and they had done this with nothing but their bare hands. He had always known that his mentor had been a brutal, efficient, killing machine. But this was on another level all together.

The courtyard was silent for a while, the two taking the time to just bask in the presence of each other, as what once was Byleth relearned the intricacies of their favourite deer’s scent. He smelled of sweat, wax, and the unmistakable scent of a wyvern with an underlying scent of the pine needle tea he had loved so much as a youth. It was so familiar, but yet so different.

It lulled them into a calm, their blood lust seeming to abate, but instead only retreating deep within them. It screamed at them to kill those who would DARE steal these years from them, those years they had been trapped within a cage that was not of their own making. Struggling beneath the weight of forced nightmares and trappings. Screaming to be let out, to avenge those who had fallen, to avenge their dreams of a peaceful life within the monastery with those they called their own.

Their moment was halted, but not broken, as seven others burst into the courtyard they had massacred their enemies within. Several of them turned from the bodies, as the fresh gore stank and attracted flies, but several others admired the pile with a keen understanding that they had deserved their deaths.

Claude was quick to his feet, dragging his beloved mentor to her feet as well, to greet those who had burst in extremely late to a battle that had been won ages ago. “Well look what the cat dragged in! Don’t worry, I was late as well. Teach here had already decimated these bandits before I even made it down from the tower I was waiting in. Teach here really doesn’t mess around anymore!

A cry burst from the group of late comers, Marianne bursting into tears at the sight of her beloved teacher, no matter how much blood, gore, and muck covered their body. The group surged onto the pair, with hugs and loud exclamations of happiness and faith coming from everyone.

“Oh Professor, I’m so glad you’ve returned to us, without you we were a herd without their leader, we’ve missed you so dearly, thank you for returning to us. I’ve missed you so dearly,” Marianne told her quietly as she was the first to descend upon them. Her scent had barely changed, the soft smell of fresh ink, the lovely floral perfume she used, and an underlying scent of steel and something ethereal that stemmed from her holy magic.

“Is that really you, Professor? It's been so long! I thought I'd never see you again! You look like you need a good meal, to gain back some muscle! Let’s get you fed!” Raphael told her, as he hugged her so softly, always cautious of his own strength in times like these. His scent was always so warm and welcoming, spices, sweat, and the smell of a fresh kill waded from him to her.

“I had my doubts, any good noble must be willing to accept fate, but it looks like my doubts were unfounded to my utmost glee! Welcome back to our rank’s professor, you were undoubtedly missed. We were never the same without your ethereal might to lead us into battle.” Lorenz, ever the gentleman, hugged them firmly but with no less fever than the others. Unchanging was his scent, that of fresh roses, freshly melted letter wax, and parchment.

“Professor! It’s been too long, I am so glad you’ve returned to us. I can’t wait to show you my newest paintings, I’ve never forgotten what you told me. I always carry it in my heart, it is almost the dearest thing to me. I am so happy to once again be in your company.” Ignatz, always the lovely soft-hearted boy, held them so softly, like they were the most precious thing in the world. It drew tears to their eyes as they breathed in his scent. Oil paints, mixing with the scent of grass, and the crisp scent of a freshly opened book.

“Professor! Boy am I glad to see you! It’s been a while hasn’t it, I wonder if you’ve got any new stories, what happened to you? I do hope you’ll tell us over some fresh tea. Now that you’ve returned, I can escape my brother once again! He could never say no to helping a beloved ally in times of great need!” Hilda hugged them with the same passion that they had before the fall of the monastery, desperately, like if she didn’t milk every moment possible from the interaction she’d never have it again. Her scent was the most changed, polish from her axe, the scent of a wyvern, and the strong scent of her hair products, which smelt as lovely as they always did.

“I’m glad we arrived late and missed the battle; however, it seems you were the only one to participate, how strange. I thought for sure Claude would be neck deep in his mid-battle schemes with your return. You certainly do need a bath however; your stench is quite unmistakable!” Lysithea remarked, always one to act above her age. They could see the tears in the corner of her eyes as they embraced her, her grief almost a tangible thing that they wised they could kill. She smelled like the dangerous scent of reason magic, so sharp and ready to attack, mixed with the delicate scent of books and sweets.

“You've been alive all this time?! Where have you been hiding?! Don’t you know how worried we were, I thought we had lost you. I was so worried professor, thank you for returning to us, however long it took.” Leonie almost yelled, her grief so evident in her tone. It took everything in them not to break down and beg for forgiveness from their child, but they knew that this was not the time. Her scent as always was strong and steady. Smelling of her stead, the leather of her gloves, and the basic oil soap she used to wash.

They were surrounded by those who held their heart, and so much joy filled them. Joy and sadness fought within them, sadness for the many years that they’d lost to see them grow, but joy that they hadn’t forgotten them, and had come back to them like they had promised all those moons ago, during a battle none of them would soon forgot.

They looked to Claude for help, Claude who had always understood their own emotions better than themselves, and without fail helped them every time. He was quick to intervene and send the men off to hunt for some game to eat and was quick to send the ladies off to find a place to set up their camp for the night, with a promise to help their newly returned professor get clean. During the war that had broken out, there was no need for modesty when it came to those you fought with, so no one questioned his decision, seeing how their beloved professor clung to their leader with an unmatched desperation.

Deciding on a detour, he leads them to where he had set down his supplies, thankful he had packed extra clothes, both for him, and in his hopeful state, for his teacher, not knowing what state she’d be in when she came back to them. He made quick work of grabbing their supplies, and then quickly led them to the bathhouse that was magically still functioning and had at least the barest of supplies. It seemed like the raiders didn’t bother coming this deep into the monastery, with most of the expensive and fancy soaps the nobles preferred still in their places, along with the bath towels and robes.

He stripped them both down with a military efficiency. They had both bathed with others before, and both knew that eyes would wander as they pleased, without any real heat behind them. Bathing with others was simply a fact for the both of them. Traveling as a mercenary meant that streams and lakes were as good as you were going to get for a bath, and with a company of over thirty individuals, they had no time for modesty

“Let’s get you clean hey? You look like you need a nice long bath, and a shoulder to cry on, and lucky for you, I’m quite skilled with both.” He said quietly, as he led them into the springs with a cake of soap, and several other supplies that looked to be for their hair and overgrown talons.

Without another word, he began with their hair, rubbing the first product they had acquired through it. Relaxing, they leaned into the touch, knowing that their most beloved deer would never lift a single finger to hurt them. His fingers caught on knots in their mint green hair every now and again but took the utmost care to carefully work through them. He shifted, and leaned back until his chest was mostly submerged, and her hair was in the water. Using this position, he started to wash the soap out as gently as he could, before sitting the both of them up, and working the next product into their hair.

It was so utterly calming, being able to finally relax. To not be fighting against the cage that had been holding them captive all these years. Taking their time, they tried to put together the words to tell their beloved deer what had happened to them, and why they had not returned to their side as soon as possible.

“I was. Trapped. I was not sleeping, although I wish I had been. We were trapped within out mind. You remember how we became one, so long ago? But how I was still me? I am not sure if I am still me anymore, or if we are someone different. We had to fight, every day. To not be extinguished. Every day, we fought to return to your sides. However, we were not enough, as we were. We had to become more. To survive in our prison.” They stopped, to take a deep breath, tears falling from their eyes for the first time in many years. They relied on the strength and steadiness of the man behind them to keep them upright, to be their pillar in their moment of despair that they were allowing themselves.

Not once did Claude’s hands stutter, they continued to wash, to unknot their hair. He tended to them like they were the most precious thing on this planet, yet inside his heart, something broke. Hearing his beloved mentor confess that they had been broken down, forced to fight nonstop for five years, just for the chance to return to their side, was a bitter pill to swallow. But swallow he did, and kept at his task, hoping to tell them through his actions alone how proud of them he was, how he would repay their kindness and their love until the end of time, and even longer if necessary. He would follow them to the ends of the earth, he would help them find a dream, and would do anything to help them see it to fruition.

Taking a deep breath, they continued their harrowing story, “We saw many things that broke us. We saw our deer, ripped limp from limp, we saw our allies skinned alive, beaten until their last breaths. Not for one minute did we forgot, not one minute did we stop fighting. We fought until we were free, and even when we were freed did we realise we were free. Until we were pulled from the river. Looking like this.”

At their last world, they pulled their hands from the depths of the waters and presented their new talons to Claude to inspect. He abandoned their hair for a second, to grasp their hands, to reassure them. “These are a mark of how hard you have fought, they are not something to be ashamed of. They are marks of your bravery, of how far you would go to protect those you love with all of your heart. You could’ve given up in that lake, you could’ve given yourself over to the horrors, but you chose to fight, for me, for the other deer, for all that you hold close, and I am so proud of you. I’m sure that the others would tell you the exact same thing.” With his reassurance, he pressed a single kiss to each hand, and let them fall back into the water, to return to their hair.

Silence fell across the bathhouse, until Claude chose to fill the silence, with a simple melody. He had done this often, during their shared late nights in the library, or in the grassy patch of ground near the classrooms, where he would teach them the constellations, and tell them the stories that accompanied them.

It was so soothing, to not have to worry about appearances like they used to. They were no longer a teacher, they no longer had to withhold their affection they held for their deer. They were free to enjoy Claude doting on them, without the thought of someone being scandalized by it.

Back during their time at the academy, they had told Claude of this. They told Claude everything, and they always had. Something deep within them trusted Claude in a way they felt they could never trust anyone else. Claude had understood, he had grown up with endless affection from those he called family, and those around them. He understood how it felt to go from so much affection to having to hide it away. It was so calming to them back then, to feel like they were on even footing with someone, even if it was someone they were teaching.

Claude had always understood their worries, had never put them down or tried to undersell their worried. He had always come with solutions, helped them to prepare for classes, stepped in when they were struggling to keep the class in order, always took the lead when someone asked a question they couldn’t answer. He had helped them so much, had taken hours out of his study to teach them how to work with nobles, to see what they saw when they looked at the world.

He was always so proud of her, and to be in his arms right now, felt like heaven itself. With Claude there was no judgment, there was no fear of being attacked, only the faith he held for them, and his never-ending drive to help them.

He leaned back once again, rinsing their hair for the third time, taking his time to massage their scalp. “Would you like me to cut it? It’s grown quite a bit, I brought the scissors with me just in case.” He said quietly, stopping his song to wait for their answer. With a quick nod, he smiled and resumed his song, this time accompanied by the quiet snipping of the scissors, as he grabbed and trimmed their hair, dumping the cut off hair on the ledge of the bathing pool. They relaxed once again, shivering each time Claude’s fingers grazed their neck. He chuckled each time he did, his song interrupted each time.

It wasn’t long before their hair was fully clean, and back to its shiny natural state, free of all the grime of the river and the blood and gore of their fight. He moved his hands off to the side, before reaching for a couple of soaps, offering them up for inspection. “I grabbed a few, but none of them were your preferred soap, so take your pick, there’s lavender and vanilla, rose, or bergamot. If you can’t pick I’ll just use whatever.” He said, waiting for their answer. When they shrugged, he threw two of them back onto the dry group, “Rose it is then!”

Without hesitance, he started to clean them off, starting with their back and arms, slowly cleaning them off the muck and gore that had caked onto their previously soft skin. It took a while, and the water ran a mucky brown before it was pulled away by the hidden magical pumps. He quietly hummed, as he worked over their torso, cleaning everywhere he could get to, before hesitating over their crotch. “Do you want me to? Or would you rather I skip it and leave it for you to do when I’m finished, I don’t mind either way, it’s up to you”

“I don’t mind. You’ve been gentle. As long as you stay gentle. You’ll be fine.” They reassured him, not wanting the attention to end, and not really caring about the implications in their words. They were calm for the first time in years, finally feeling free of the anger and rage that had been coursing through them, if only for a while.

With delicate hands, he continued, never staying too long in one place, never taking their trust for granted. He washed them as delicately as he could, before moving down their thighs and legs. He shifted them, so that they were sitting on the small bench along the boundary of the pool instead of him and stood in front of them to finish cleaned the muck off their calves and feet. “I have a tool to get this dirt and gore out from your talons on your hands, and this mud from the ones on your feet.” He said to himself, while he finished up cleaning their feet.

Reaching to the side, he grabbed it and got to work, humming a cute little melody as he went, something about wyverns and their riders. He made quick work of the mud and gore stuck under their nails, placing a sweet kiss on each limb as he finished his task. It was adorable, to be pampered like this was nothing that had ever experienced before in their life. Life on the road was rough, with each day being lived aggressively. Monastery life had been different, but there was still work to be done, and the work was no less important. They had truly never gotten a chance to understand what taking time for themselves meant, and how it affected them. It was something they’d never had.

They leaned their head back, and waited as Claude quickly washed themselves, before ushering the both of them out of the bath. He dried them both off and handed them the clothes he had brought for them, before dressing himself in his extra clothes. Busying himself while they dressed, he grabbed their discarded outfits, and wrapped them in one of the towels, hoping to keep the muck off of his fresh clean clothes.

“Thank you, for the bath, and listening. To our story. We know it wasn’t a pleasant one.” They said quickly, hoping that he would still catch it. Claude turned to them with a knowing smile, just nodding, and taking her arm like a noble would a lady.

“Onward! Hopefully the others have set up a camp and found some food. I for one, am starving. I bet you’re even more hungry than I am!” He said, tugging her along. Against all odds, a smile found a way onto their face. There would be more battles to face, to fight, but for now, the blood lust was quiet, and she was in the company of her loved ones, and Claude was by her side.

**Author's Note:**

> wanted to write feral byleth being feral and instead claude decided he wanted to be CUTE and do THIS what a BASTARD now there has to be more bc byleth isnt feral enough! god dammit!
> 
> if you liked it, drop a comment! love hearing about what you liked, what you didnt like, and if u wanna talk fe3h HMU bc im gay and i love claude hes a baby


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